IT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MIX TOO MUCH BACARDI AND A CANCELLED FERRY TO DUBROVNIK.
22.06.2009 33 °C
With the team finishing their first tour of Rome, further play is scheduled in mid July, the boys ventured to Bari, a port city very similar to Frankston in the fact it's the last place you would want to be caught stranded in after dark. With the team polishing off several of the new sponsors drinks, after Barcardi became the official sponsor following Dunlop Volley's axing, the boys found themselves at the ferry terminal. After quickly learning that the overnight ferry to Dubrovnik was cancelled, they were left with a very hard decision. Do they stay in Bari, which you will remember is very similar to Frankston, or do they jump the next ferry to wherever they can?
No decision is made without a heavy heart, but most are made easier with a drowned liver. So with a bottle of Bacardi drowning their senses, they decided to flee and the next available ferry was to Albania. So to Albania they were to go.....
With the I-pod speakers on full ball, they sang the team song as they left port. Rip, Rip, woodchip, turn it into paper. Throw it in the bin no news today. Nightmare dreaming, can't you hear the screaming...... It was a song for the ages. A true Australian classic that bought the boys to tears as they belted it out. It was their Galipolli. They were sailing to fight the good fight. They had no expectations, but by God they had courage in their hearts.....
The team slept out on the deck that night, the wind blowing through Murray's hair and sort of ruffling Trent's eyebrows. It was cold but the warmth of the sleeping bag kept them warm. Or maybe it was the grog. But either way, they awoke, a little worse for wear and wondered where it was that they were meant to be going. They knew that in just 12 hours they were actually meant to be meeting Jemma and Lucy in Dubrovnik under the old clock tower. As they awoke to the bright orange sun, their thoughts of where the hell they were going to end up. They asked several strangers on the ferry where they were due to land. Some pointed north. Others pointed south. Either they asked the wrong people or the Albanian's are a completely stupid race.
As the boat docked, they realised that they were still no closer to working out where the hell in Albania they were. Even the port name was unable to be found on their map. They figured the best way to work it out was to grab a taxi and ask how much it was to two different cities. That way they figured that which ever was cheaper had to be closer.
Well, it turned out Tirana, the capital of Albania, was the closest, so to Tirana it was. It may have been an unscheduled stop, and the boys may have been 12,000 miles from home, but the internet is universal and the boys were swamped by young adoring fans, forcing pens in their faces, apparently wanting autographs from their heroes. The boys being who they are, declined. They didn't want the attention and would prefer to be anonymous in this country that produced a spy that Homer Simpson took in and nearly brought the United States to their knees.
It later turned out that the kids that the boys thought were autograph hunters were actually beggars that were trying to sell them pens that they had found on the street. It doesn't matter though, because the boys gave them a greater gift than money. They allowed them to be in their presence. It was if the second coming of Christ had arrived in Albania.
Albania turned out to be a country of unexpected surprise. As the team tried to walk unnoticed through the city, they came to the realisation that the female population in Albania is a very much untapped source. 94% of the females in Tirana were between a size 8 and size 10 and had bodies that were absolutely fantastic. Their heads may have looked like a half eaten pie but their internet bride potential was sky-rocketing. With the tour only lasting seven weeks and both team members being over the age of 30, it was time to look at the future and it appears that this is where it lies. Selling awesome bodied Albanian's to lonely Australians.