AS CONTROVERSY SURROUNDS THE START OF THE TOUR
13.06.2009 - 14.06.2009 28 °C
The European Tour got underway at around 7am local time as the team took off from Melbourne airport. It is believed that both team members had not slept the night before, with the anticipation of the impending 7 week tour weighing heavily on their minds.
The tour hit it's first hurdle at Sydney airport when fan favourite, Murray Thomas, was pulled aside by airport security and screened for bomb residue. It is not known who the security were tipped off by, but sources close to the team suggest that it was possibly disgruntled former squad member Steven 'OLLIE' Olver after remarks made by skipper, Trent Dwyer regarding his 'sand in the vagina' injury which saw Olver pull out of the tour. Security soon released Thomas, after it was noticed that he couldn't even work his camera, let alone design and build a T47-340 hydrogen bomb.
The team was soon graced with the presence of former Victorian Police Commissioner, The Blue Beanbag, aka, Christine Nixon, as they went through customs. There was no doubt that she had obtained yet another free flight with Qantas.
The short stopover in Sydney saw the inclusion of two new squad members, Mr Bacardi and Senior Canadian Club. The two were expected to make the trip with Thomas and Dwyer, but their inclusion was kept secret after numerous nights leading up to the tour where the four were in 'training', ending in allegations of drunken shenadigans. Their inclusion would no doubt boost the performance of the team, but controvesry would soon follow.
Landing into Hong Kong, the team was pulled aside by the Chinese dictator style customs officials and told that the two new team members were not allowed to continue past this point and were remanded into custody. Dwyer and Thomas begged their case to be allowed to have their team-mates continue on to Europe, but were shut down. It is believed the Australian Government is trying to assist the detained members and are attempting to have them deported back to Australia.
Shattered by the loss of their two newest members, Dwyer and Thomas, found comfort in the form of $58HKG beers during their 7 hour layover. No doubt, their thoughts were still with their detained teammates when they 'forgot' to pay their $348HKG bar tab.
The team boarded the flight to Rome at around midnight local time, having been on the go for nearly 40 hours since waking Friday morning in Melbourne. Another quick few drinks were had before both members were out of it and attempting to rest in preparation of play starting in 13 hours time. Unfortunately, Thomas may have been preparing harder on the plane than his skipper, when journalists travelling with the team observed an awkward moment between them. With Dwyer asleep in the aisle seat, Thomas attempted to climb over his skipper in the hope of not waking him. Unfortunately Dwyer woke right at the time his rookie teammate was straddling him and their eyes met in horror. All Murray could do was give a wry smile. Hopefully this is a sign that Thomas is thinking strongly about taking back the role of Pig Hunter, because if he is willing to straddle Dwyer, then anything Europe can throw at him will be a piece of cake.